This is for Jackson to read one day, after a bad game or lost race. Mommy’s been there. And it’s not about whether you win or lose. Some rewards are beyond winning.
Also, I don’t mean to disrespect any of the other women at the triathlon. Everyone should be proud of their accomplishment!
I have to admit, Sunday after I saw the results of the triathlon, I was defeated. There were tears shed. Not because I didn’t win, but because I really was almost last. 493 out of 503. I didn’t feel like I did that badly. I didn’t struggle to complete the triathlon. Never did I think “ I can’t finish this”. I KNEW I could and I KNEW I was doing it. Why was I nearly last?
I have had a few days to think about this and here is what I have come up with...
1. Satan is trying to steal my joy, my victory. Every time Matthew or I do something we are proud of, something happens to steal our joy. Not this time. I am taking it back! He couldn’t defeat me before the race by telling me I couldn’t do it. That I was too afraid. That I couldn’t swim well enough. I DID IT!
2. I was afraid. But, I did it anyway. Saturday night I could not sleep. I was so nervous. I kept praying “please God, don’t let me die. I want to see my son again.” God answered my prayer. He told me “I have NOT given you a spirit of fear, but of POWER, LOVE , and SELF DISIPLINE.” 2 Timothy 1:7 That is truly what He laid on my heart. I kept hearing “I have not given you a spirit of fear” but I couldn’t remember the rest. I got up to look it up and I was blown away by the rest. He has given me the power to do this.
3. At age 31, I was among the youngest to do the triathlon. Why? I think it is because women my age are having babies and have young children. It is very difficult to give the time commitment to do something like a triathlon when you have a family to take care of. I was not willing to sacrifice my time with these two just for a silly triathlon.
They are the most important things in this world to me. I would give up anything to spend time with them.
4. I was surprised at how few spectators there were. Matt even commented to me that he didn’t see a lot of husbands there cheering their wives on. When I passed my parents on the bike portion, they were one of the few people sitting on Main Street watching and cheering. I was blessed enough to have my amazing, supportive husband there. He was cheering (and relieved) when I got out of the water and he was there cheering when I ran by and he was there with open arms at the finish line to give me a big hug. I have to say, training for this made our marriage even stronger. We found a hobby we both love to do together: run. He ran with me in the evenings. He went to the pool with me to count laps for me. I apparently can’t swim and count at the same time. He never once complained. He watched Jackson on the nights he didn’t go with me. I could not have asked for a better husband!
My parents were there cheering me on. I am still there baby, even if I am 31 and a mommy myself.
Joshua was there supporting me and his brother. He woke up before 6 am. How many brothers in law would be willing to do that? He really is just like my own brother.
My brother wasn’t able to come to the race because he was sick. But, he came over every night the week before the race to watch Jackson so Matt could go with me to swim. He went with us to the lake one night so I could practice swimming in the open water and swam with me to make sure I was ok. I don’t get so see my brother often so it was really nice to spend so much time with him and I know Jackson loved spending time with Uncle Chris.
Mimi was willing to give up going to the race with everyone and stay home with Jackson. It was such a relief for me not to have to worry about getting Jackson up early and if he was ok during the race. Thanks Mimi!
How many of the other women could say their relationships were actually strengthened. Probably not many. I would guess relationships were probably sacrificed.
5. I had my mom’s bike. It wasn’t a thousand of dollars race bike like the other competitors had. I had part of my momma out there with me.
6. It was a triathlon. It wasn’t like doing the Peachtree where you can just do it for fun. You had to train. You had to be ready. Most people wouldn’t even try to do it. They think its too hard, they cant to it, only athletes do stuff like that. Well, I am just a mom and I did it. I tried and I did it! Most people that do triathlons are athletes, so there is less room for normal people at the bottom. (not sure if that made sense?)
7. I could have ran the last 5K, but I had to pee. Apparently my bladder is not what it used to be. Every time I tried to run I would just about pee in my pants. One of the sacrifices of motherhood. Haha!
8. My goal was to finish the triathlon. It was not to win or have a high rank. This was my first triathlon. I had no idea what to expect or what my times should be. I just wanted to complete it. My strategy was to let the strong swimmers go ahead and stay in the back. It wasn’t to get ahead and stay ahead. I accomplished my goal. If I want to do another triathlon I know what to expect and how to train now.
Well, that’s it. Finally! :) Lesson learned: its not whether you win or lose, its how you play the game. I played with every one I love the most by my side.
